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What Does Your Couch Say About You?
You might not pay much attention to that large piece of furniture in your living room…but everyone else is. What first impression does your sofa give off? Find out now (and then, for most of you, buy a new one immediately)!
Sofa Bed or Futon?
Futons are a great excuse to discourage the in-laws from spending the night: "Well, we do have that futon in the living room if you'd really like to stay, but the mattress is kind of thin and the room gets kind of cold and we've only got the one comforter, you see…"
"I'm pretty popular and have a lot of house guests." Alternately, "My wife kept banishing me to the couch for the night. I had to upgrade for the sake of my back."
Plus, with a sofa bed you save so much money on hotels when your wife kicks you out of bed for snoring again!
Really Awkward Deco Couch
You may subscribe to design magazines, or just idolize celebs' houses.
"I saw this in a magazine. The model looked so comfortable on it…why am I so uncomfortable?"
Whatever it is, you thought "form over function" when it came to your sofa…and you were wrong.
No one wants to sit on this thing, but at least it pulls the room together. (At least it would if you'd get rid of that creepy cherub figurine on your mantel. What is that about?).
"Free Sign" Couch
"Bedbugs don't bother me. Plus, its always a surprise when you turn over the cushions…oh there's my other hamburger!"
You think paying for furniture is preposterous.
Hey, when you go to the lake you get bit by a mosquitos, right? So what's a bedbug or two?
With all the money you saved by not buying a new couch, you can afford a replacement hamburger whenever you lose one in the free couch. (But please, at least flip the cushion so no one sees the ketchup stain.)
Milk Crate Couch
Bed bugs do bother me. But I love saving money, and recycling is very important to me. Very, very important to me.
Too many milk crates, not enough seating. Sound familiar? But just turning them over and using them as footstools is so…expected.
Wow your eco-conscious friends with a couch that's even more uncomfortable than the expensive deco one, and almost completely free. (Just kidding. Come on, buy a couch. Seriously.)
Impossibly Plush Couch
"Don't even try to watch TV on this couch. You'll get 5 minutes in before passing out and then you'll just have to watch the episode over again."
Good for you! This may be the best possible upgrade from the milk crate couch.
You value comfort to the extreme. Bet you lined your pajamas with sheepskin and wear your slippers to the grocery store, too.
Just try not to invite anyone over for an after dinner drink or evening movie…unless you want to turn that movie into an impromptu sleepover.
Man Cave Leather Couch
"Ladies can't resist the sleek look, overpowering smell and awkward leg-sticking capabilities of leather." Please advise said ladies to wear pants when they come over, lest they have to uncomfortably peel their legs off the couch as they stand up.
Since your jacket, your shoes and your car interior (and don't lie, your car air freshener is leather-scented) it only makes sense that all your furniture should be too.
If they made leather toiletries, you'd be totally on board.
"I'll do whatever it takes to preserve this upholstery forever. Plus, I'm a bit of a grandma." In fact, your grandma probably does have one of these.
It squeaks when you sit down, and your hair gets really staticky every time you accidentally brush your head against it.
On the plus side, at least the giant polka dot pattern has retained its original hue after all these years!